Meat Chickens

My favorite homemade sign is back! MEAT CHICKENS for Sale! I just have to ask...As opposed to what?

Potty Training

I *hate* potty training. Its the devil's work. Seriously! Start with a toddler who *always* asks why. Follow it up by trying to get that one onto the toilet before he does anything. Nice thought. What happens is as follows: Diaper off, child takes at least 5 mins to prep the toilet himself and redo it for good measure. Child scratches butt which is poopy, now on hands. Hands touch toilet and other parts of body. Poo is now everywhere. Clean-up ensues. While throwing away disinfectant wipes, child pees 2 gallons on the floor. Shower, screaming, find missed poo on child, now under fingernails. "Why?" is the music you clean and cry to. = Devil's Work!

Anamaniacs

Working on that last post this song popped into my head. Yes I'm an Anamaniacs Fan!

"I'm Cute" ~ Dot Warner

I'm cute, yes it's true
I really can't help it
But what can I do
When you're cute, it just shows
WIth these two darling eyes and a cute little nose
And a pretty pink dress, that's adorable, yes
And when they see my dimples then everyone says

Oh shoot!
Isn't she cute! Cute, cute
Oh isn't she cute, cute, cute

I'm the one they adore
I'm sweet and I'm cuddly
And small just like Dudley but more
It's a chore
To be constantly cute
And enchanting to boot
When my lip's sticking out
In that cute little pout
Then there's just no doubt
Why the guys like to shout

She's a beaut!
Let's face it, I'm cute
Cute, cute
Oh, baby, she's cute, cute, cute

Being cute's a thing I can't hide
If you look up the word in a book
There's my picutre inside!
TV Guide
Has me on the cover
Don' cha just love her?
I'm simply a goddess
And isn't she modest?
I'm the answer to one of the questions on Trivial Pursuit
For "Who's the most cute?"

Cute, Cute
Oh isn't she cute, cute, cute
I'm cute and I'm sweet
And I'm innocent, neat
And so trusting
If you want our opinon this song is becoming disgusting

I'm cute
So what!
I never am vain
She's becoming a pain in the ..
But I'm also real nice
I'm a doll through and through
So big whop-de-do
I'm sweet and adoring
And also real boring
And that's why we're snoring at you

That's it! You've ruined my entire cute song!
I am angry! I am furious! I am enraged!
I've had it!

You're awfully cute when you're angry...

You really think so?

A babba dabba dooba do wah!
She's cute!

I'm Cute!

Yesterday our son was being so cute. He's talking all the time and mimicking just about everything we say. So I thought it was especially funny when he added his own twist to what I was asking him to say:
Me: Ethan can you say Cute?
Ethan: Ethan (sounds like E-an) Cute.
Me: Yes you are. Can you say Handsome Boy?
Ethan: Ethan Handsome.
Guess we'll have to start working with him on pride issues soon.

Wow

Ok so I know I talk too much about my son, but hey, that's my prerogative.
He was sitting with us on the couch and wanted to have mommy help him draw. Lately he seems to be extremely interested in the alphabet, his wooden puzzle being one of his favorite activities. So he wanted mommy to help him write his letters. We've done this before: He holds the pencil and I hold his hand and help him write or draw as the case may be. Then I usually ask him if he can do it on his own. Having just turned 2 this month (February), I don't expect much more than scribbles.Tonight he proved to me just how special and smart he really is. After having me help him write his name, which by the way he can recognize in print, I asked him if he could do it. He actually wrote a lower case E! He also was able to write the letter V, even though he knows that's not in his name. The kid is 2!!! Holy Stinking Cow!
Brains AND Beauty.

More Kid Stories

I’ve been informed that I can never say too much about our son. If you do not agree, stop reading here. However, if you just can’t get enough, here are a few cute stories about recent events involving our two year old son.
- We caught our son babbling in a sing-song voice, quite common in young children. What’s funny in this case is that he was talking to his food. He had little teddy bear cookies. He’d have a conversation, tell the cookie “Bye-Bye,” followed promptly by him biting the poor bear’s head off!”
- We are a family that likes video games. I have discovered I’m not half bad, and that I can get caught up in them easily. The other night, our son was watching me play and every time I died or did something bad, he’d mock me. He’s make that noise often heard say on an old game show when things were answered wrong. Not the buzzer sound, but the Wha-wha-wha sound. Then he’d say “Oh no!” What a goober.
- And lastly for now, we were out taking a walk. The sun was out and there were lots of little planes flying overhead. Every time a plane went over, our son had to stop, look up, wave and yell bye-bye. It was so cute!

Random Ad Signs

One thing about road trips that I especially enjoy is finding off beat or funny signs. Sometimes you have to wonder what people were thinking when they came up with some of these. I mean come on…Here are a few that we saw on our recent car trip and my personal thoughts…
1) Meat Chickens: The sign actually read: “Meat Chickens 4 Sale.” Now, I know people sell chickens that are purposed for egg laying and others that are meant for food. I just for some reason found this funny. I mean the point of this sign was that these chickens were meant to be food. There are thousands of ways that could have been better phrased. Something about this screams the fact this person’s driveway does not come all the way to the road, if you know what I mean.
2) Yakama, The Palm Springs of Washington: Has the person who made this billboard actually been to Palm Springs? If any of you have driven past or actually stopped in Yakama, you know. ‘Nuff said.
3) Woodpecker Truck: I’m sorry but that just sounds so wrong for those of us with less than clean minds. No details provided, I’m sure you can figure it out.
4) The Hungry Red Neck Café: This was a sign for a restaurant somewhere along the Oregon/Idaho boarder. The sign actually pictured a “red neck” or “hillbilly” on the sign. Now, I’m not one to judge much…ok yes I am, but regardless, this just seems a bit too much of the “pot calling the kettle black.”
5) Do Not Pass Snow Plow on the Right: This was in a mountain pass in Eastern Oregon. Obviously, someone tried this. There is no other logical reason this sign should have been made. It seems like a no-brainer to me, but someone must have not thought it through. Another 'driveway is too short' person. Darwin Awards contestant anyone?

What is that Smell?

Here is a funny story that will guarantee my son goes to therapy due to parental embarrassment. We’re watching some TV before going to bed while on vacation. My husband, sensitive man that he is, after coming out of the bathroom asks me if I farted because the room stank. In case you’re wondering, I’ll tell you now: It wasn’t me! I tell him as much and that I thought it was something that preceded him out of the bathroom. We do know how to say such sweet words to each other, don’t we? But I digress. We look at each other a moment, almost perplexed as to the smell, then the light bulb comes on. We both turn and look at our son, who is sleeping peacefully across the room on his bed. My husband crosses the room and does something most parents do: The nose test. Poor man - our son had pooped his pants in his sleep, and hubby put his nose right there! This is funny to me because it wasn’t me. It’s also funny, in a not so much ha ha way but more hmmm interesting, is that our son, who just turned 2, hates to poo while he’s awake. He holds it in until he cannot help it any longer. I wonder if he even knows he did it?

Almost There...

The last hour of a car trip is the worst! You’re close to your destination and you just want to BE there. Toddlers are the least tolerant of this time frame too, making you even more desirous to get there. Gonna make it, gonna make it…gonna make it.

Car Seatbelt

After the biting wind at this rest stop, the car was calling so we clipped the boy in his car seat and were off. The only thing is, in my haste for warmth, I didn’t fully clip the chest latch. My little over achiever is so smart that he knew that was bad. He started fussing in his seat for attention until I noticed what was wrong. Then he thanked me for fixing it. “sniff sniff” I’m so proud.

Ha ha ha

Who knew other peoples misfortune can make one so happy. We’re driving along, keeping up with the flow of traffic and this person has been riding our butt for miles. Finally we’re able to change lanes and they pass…Five miles or so down the road, they’re pulled over getting a ticket. HA HA (finger pointing)

I'm a Smart Cookie

Toddlers live in ‘the age of discovery’ and let no one ever claim them as smart. Our delightful son, whom we formally claimed as brilliant, is eating his goldfish crackers out of a zip-lock baggie. For some reason, he decides to bite a whole in the bottom of the bag to access the crackers, despite the top being open. Now he’s crying because they won’t stay in the bag. Wow.

Just call me Private Grape

So we decided to go see my folks who are about an 8-9 hour trip with our toddler. We’ve been on the road maybe 30 minutes and already I’m thinking we were crazy. Our son won’t eat the breakfast we bought for him, mommy already spilled his grape juice in her lap while trying to pour it into the spill proof cup, and he insists on watching his ‘show,’ which is yet another repeat version of his DVD Backyardagains. I’m sure whoever invented the DVD player in the car is a genius, but when you have a two year old who thinks “YAY, I love repetition” and you have a 9 hour trip ahead of you…I’m beginning to think that person is a sadist. 34 minuets and counting.

G-L-A-M-O-R-O-U-S, yeah G-L-A-M-O-R-O-U-S

A warning to all new or future moms: It Is Not G-L-A-M-O-R-O-U-S!
Aside from the newborn peeing or pooing on you...you stick your finger in it...you can step in it if its on the floor...babies eat it...
In the movie Baby Mama you think a mom might be tasting it, though it turns out to be chocolate.
Ok so today I hit a new low. I sniffed it. It smelled so strong, that I thought the pants might be dirty, but they're brown so I gave it the ol' sniff test you imagine single guys doing to dirty shirts found on the floor. Wow my life is sad. What's my next low point to be? Tune in soon!

What did you eat boy?!?

There are days I feel like my only task as a mom is to feed the boy so that he can empty and make room for more. What’s worse than changing dirty diapers every 45 minutes? …Probably sticking your finger in it every time. Does anyone know of a place I can get a new hand?

"Zip" Happens!

No one ever told me trying to change a toddler’s clothes or diaper was like riding in a rodeo! My poor traumatized boy learned first hand today what it means to get ‘caught’ in his zipper. Oh does the guilt flow over me!
Our son “is in this fiercely independent phase. It's driving us absolutely batty. He won't let us do anything for him. So, even mundane tasks take forever.”
Having to almost resort to hog tying him, I’ve got him pinned down and ready to unzip his footie pajamas, only to discover…GASP ~ His diaper was around his ankle and he’d done number 2! Ok ewe, gross aside, he’s squirming around fighting me changing his clothes or anything. Mommy, trying to rush the agony for us both, unzips his pj’s only to catch the poor boy on the way down. Screaming ensues. Mommy wants to cry now too! What a day. Today he must get his every wish granted.

I wanna do it!

Right now our kid is in this fiercely independent phase. It's driving us absolutely batty.

He won't let us do anything for him. So, even mundane tasks take forever. For instance: he's potty-training now but he has turn on the light, turn on the fan, position his little stool in front of the toilet, take his clothes off, climb on the toilet, etc. He even wants to wipe himself (that always turns out badly). All these thing would take me less than a minute if he would let me help him. Instead, even though he only sat on the pot for a minute, we spent 10 minutes in the bathroom.

I can even tolerate (reluctantly) the tantrums and shrieking but this "Let me do it!" phase has got to stop.

Hush little baby

There's few things as sad as a little kid with a cold who just croaks when he tries to speak.

Granted, it's really a blessing in disguise but, still, it's a little sad when he just squeaks instead of shrieks.

Temper-tantrums aren't so bad now...

Lil' Overachiever

I just have to take a moment and brag about my son.

For a while now he's been able to identify and say about half the letters in the alphabet and, today, we found out that he recognizes his written name as well as the word "mama".

I'm so proud :)